Confession Time

Uncategorised 1 Minute

After five years of typing in the shadows, here I am: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/article/2024/jul/06/reluctant-carer-to-redundant-carer?CMP=twt_b-gdnsaturday#comments

It has been the proverbial, long, strange trip, not just for me but also for my family, I am very grateful to them for putting up with my invisible sniping and The Guardian for publishing the reveal piece which is fitting since it was a piece in there which got the ball rolling back in 2019: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jan/19/dad-more-comebacks-than-elvis-confessions-of-a-reluctant-carer

Much has changed since then. Key players, Dad especially, have left the stage and others have entered the fray. If you have come here from today’s Guardian piece then the fray is best enjoyed through the book, which you can buy somewhat more cheaply (and in paperback) than the link in the piece, and from your vendor of choice here: https://www.panmacmillan.com/authors/the-reluctant-carer/the-reluctant-carer/9781529029390

But there is also much on the site which is not published elsewhere, so, if my late life hot take is your thing, dive in. It beats wasps and oysters it seems (which is saying something). You are in good company.

I must also thank all those of you who have emailed me from this site. Those are your words I am quoting here (below), and the drive to write this latest piece was kindled by that recognition.

If you want to know more about ‘me’ and how it came to this, I am indebted to Andew Hankinson, a soldier of non-fiction for having me on his podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/michael-holden-the-reluctant-carer/id1588244277?i=1000661300505

Thank you all for reading.

Love, Michael x

PS if you like non-fiction, I would very much recommend this book of Andrew’s too https://www.amazon.co.uk/Could-Something-Amazing-Your-Raoul/dp/192224791X

Unknown's avatar

Published by reluctantcarer

Published

9 thoughts on “Confession Time”

  1. as always – uplifting and made me smile! Thank you for sharing Micheal – nice to hear from you again and I enjoyed the book needless to say.

    I’ve a lot of guilt like everyone – failing to understand the mechanics of death and illness and stressed and irritated in equal measure at times . Too much to unpack. Dad died of vascular dementia, bed ridden for 5 months at home. I fear I never really understood how to interact in the end when speech mostly evaded him. Showing him images of things he loved only agitated him. Mum died 10 years later of bowel cancer at 91 – we spent 25 days over Christmas in hospital with her, she took a long time to go. The indignities abounded and the pain not totally managed even in a hospital environment (maybe due to the holiday season idk) The syringe driver seemed to take away her voice but she did managed to shout ‘lucky her!’ When told another elderly acquaintance had died earlier in the week.

    Which was very much mums style.

    One thing is clear – I need an exit plan.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thanks, Sarah. Sorry to hear about your parents, glad your mum exited on a shout though. I think you’re right – we will see an increase in people taking things into their own hands I think, for better and for worse. Good luck. MH

      Like

      Reply

  3. Pleased to ‘meet’ you, yes I came here from the Guardian. I would have read your previous pieces but they wouldn’t have hit home at the time as my elderly parents’ crisis came (mercifully) just as we were coming out of the pandemic, in summer 2021. I have been in a bewildered rage ever since. Now, everything you say is all too familiar… I have ordered the book and will listen to the podcast!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. I have so enjoyed your writing throughout the years. One of the few family caregivers to access the sly comedy of the journey – which was our go-to strategy in this household.

    Are you really writing a screenplay about caring? After my family care stint ended I made a documentary!

    Potentially a bit of an addict stateside too.

    Like

    Reply

    1. Thanks Kitty – much appreciated. Indeed, the possible TV version of the book has been in development for a couple of years now… I may be in care myself by the time it’s done…

      Like

      Reply

      1. Interesting… that’s something I’d like to do with my blog once the documentary no longer needs so much of my time. If you ever feel like a quick Zoom with a stranger I’d love to hear more about what that process is like.

        And if you don’t, I wish you super big success and look forward to seeing the show!

        Like

Leave a comment